Why do we lose?
All of us have lost some or the other time in our lives. The beauty of life lies in its undulating nature. The ups and downs we experience as we traverse, only serves to enrich the purpose of our journey and make us wiser, if we keep an open mind and learn from them. Now, depending on the facts and circumstances of each case, there are usually several discernible and copious subtle reasons as to why we lose. So, if we work on these reasons, the chance of losing next time may diminish significantly.
When do we lose?
Ergo, the important aspect of learning from losing is not to know WHY; rather it’s about WHEN. When do you lose? One may list down a myriad of situations when we can lose. For instance, when we let our anger get the better of us, or when we toss away our idiosyncrasy or when we are dawdling or when competition’s quite high. But all the aforementioned situations only contributes to defeat; they do not signify the exact moment of our defeat. It is because of them one may be pulverized, for they may be the causes of defeat, but they do not, in fact, indicate defeat themselves.
Is it when someone outmaneuvers us? Or when someone beats us? Or when we fail? Or when we don’t succeed? Or when we don’t fulfill expectations? Or when we disappoint others? No! A big NO! Again, these may the reasons of losing, but they do not augur when we lose.
What is the meaning of Defeat?
Defeat is a “feeling that accompanies an experience of being thwarted in attaining your goals.” So, like victory, defeat is a state of mind. What the mind perceives to be true, is what you believe to be true. And your belief is what makes you or breaks you. So, when do you lose? It’s when you get this feeling. So, consequently, the next question that we need to answer is when is that we get this feeling and how do we avoid it?
Hope provides us with indispensable morale that keeps us going. The anticipation that if not today, tomorrow I’ll win keeps the feeling of defeat at bay. Acquiescence of defeat bespeaks nothing but forsaking of hopefulness. It’s only the abandonment of hope that results in defeatism (acceptance of the inevitability of defeat). The day you surrender your hope, is the day you lose.
How to avoid failure?
Be confident, be assertive, be tenacious, be smart, and much more. But nucleus of winning lies in never ever losing hope. So, stop underestimating your good self and have a little faith in the preponderant energy that you are. No one can defeat you as long as you refuse to yield. What is defeat? It’s just an “unsuccessful ending to a struggle or contest”. So, just keep trying and trying. But, until when? Until the end. And when’s the end, then? Not until you win.
Bhala Ho (Stay Blessed)
~ © By Manas Madrecha